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Jack and the Pirate School Part 3

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Jack is being held prisoner by Captain Blackheart and he can’t even tell his parents where he is. In this episode, Jack is introduced to Pirate Cuisine on the High Seas, and things go from bad to worse.

The series is collected here.

Duration 10. 14 – read by Natasha.

Just in case, you can’t quite remember what happened so far, Jack was a boy of seven who went off to sailing school one summer. But there was a bit of a mix-up…and Jack found himself at pirate school instead.

He’d been dressed in old rags by the cabin boy Ben.

But when he asked to tell his mum and dad where he was…it turned out he’d been taken prisoner.

“We don’t tell parents that anyone is at pirate school,” said Captain Blackheart, in a voice so menacing it sent a shiver down Jack’s spine.

And then he roared with laughter.

And all the pirates laughed with him.

Even Ben was laughing.

“Because you’re a prisoner!” roared Captain Blackheart.

“A prisoner,” said Jack. “Oh….”

“Your not scared are you, Jack,” said Captain Blackheart.

“Me, scared,” said Jack, just a little nervously. “Naaaahhhhh….”

“Well, that’s good then, me hearty….because there’s no room for scaredy-cats on this pirate ship.

And saying that, Captain Blackheart waved his rusty hook through the air.

“All the men on his ship have left their families behind many years ago, and they all joined us as boys,” the Captain continued.

He pointed to the rogues and ruffians lined up on the deck.

“How many years since you saw your family, Black Spot?”

An ugly looking ruffian with a giant black spot on his face stepped forward. “I reckon it be twenty years, captain.”

“And how about you, One Leg?”

A vicious looking rascal with a stump where his leg should be stepped forward. “At least fifty years, captain,” he said.

“And you, Razor, what about you?”

And a Pirate with the biggest nose that Jack had ever seen stepped forwards. “At least a hundred years, captain.”

“So you see lad, when you sign up with Captain’s Blackheart’s Pirate Ship you leave your family behind. Forever….”

“But we’d all rather sail the seven seas with Captain Blackheart,” cried the pirates with one voice.

“And so would I,” said Jack.

Except really he wasn’t so sure. Because a hundred years at sea seemed an awfully long time.

Still, never mind he thought.

It looks like great fun.

More fun than playing with his silly and soppy six sisters back at home anyway.

“So how do I start being a pirate, sir?” asked Jack.

Captain Blackheart scratched his chin with his rusty metal hook and thought for a moment.

“You could start with the climbing of the rigging,” he said.”Or we could put you on crow’s nest duty. Or maybe even a small lesson in how to set up a plank so that any dastardly villains we come across can be made to walk it.”

“Cripes, that sounds like fun.”

“Indeed it does, my lad,” said Captain Blackheart. “Then again, we could teach you how to fire a broadside, or practice sharpening your cutlass.”

“Or raising the Jolly Rodger,” said Jack.

“Aye, that and all, lad,” said the Captain. “But first you’ll help Ben here make some lunch.”

And so Jack followed Ben down into the galley of the ship.

It had been a long, long morning so far, and Jack was feeling a bit peckish.

I wonder what pirates have for lunch, though Jack.

At school, they usually had chicken and chips, or spag bol, or else fish fingers and beans. And there was often ice cream and apple crumble for pudding. And Jack usually polished it all off — and his sisters’ lunch as well, if there was any left.

I bet pirate grub is fantastic, he decided.

“Okay,” said Ben. “You get the jellied sheep’s eyes, and I’ll slice up the snake.”

Jack felt a bit queasy all of a sudden. And a lot less hungry.

“You do like sheep’s eyes, don’t you,” said Ben. “And snake?”

“Well, er…”

“Or if you prefer, we can moved straight onto the stewed worms? Or the bug burger?”

“Right, er…”

Jack felt his skin go a little green.

“I hope your not one of those sissy land lubbers who just likes bacon, and sausages, and fish fingers, and all that type of grub,” said Ben. “Because here on the pirate ship we eat sheep’s eyes and worms and bugs ….and everything.”

“Right,” said Jack. “Sounds great.”

And so they started on lunch. They tossed the sliced worms, the chopped bug burgers, the sheep’s eyes and the snake into a big pot, and they stirred and stirred until a big stew was ready.

And then carried it up onto the deck.

Captain Blackheart’s ship was a long way out to sea now, and Jack couldn’t see any land at all.

Which ever way you looked, there was just sea, sea and more sea.

And a fierce wind was starting to blow.

Making the ship rock form side to side.

And there were big waves starting to splash across everyone.

Ben put the bowl of stew down on the centre of the deck.

And all the pirates lined up with their tin plates. Ben scooped out a big spoonful of stew into each one, and they gobbled it all up.

“Here’s yours,” said Ben, putting a big pile of stew on Jack’s plate.

It smelled horrible.

Like a pile of old socks, and football jerseys.

And as the wind blew, the ship rocked from side to side.

And Jack began to feel a bit sick.

“Don’t waste it, lad,” said Captain Blackheart.

Jack took one small bite.

And it was the most horrible thing he’d ever tasted – even worse than granny’s beef stew, and that was so bad all his sisters had had to lie down after eating it.

“I said don’t waste it, lad,” said Captain Blackheart, waving his hook at Jack.

Jack tried another bite – but spat it out.

“Is it the sheep’s eyes or the sliced worm you don’t like, lad,” said Captain Blackheart.

“I put in some shark tongue,” said Ben. “Maybe he doesn’t like that…”

And at that moment, Jack felt so queasy, he ran to the side of the ship, and was a violently sick.

When he walked back, the Captain was looking very serious indeed.

“I don’t think this lad’s up for a life on the ocean,” he said. “I reckon we’ll put him up for ransom.”

“For ransom…” cried Jack.

“Aye, lad,” said Captain Blackheart. “I reckon your parents will pay a pretty penny to get you back. Better that than see you walk the plank…”

Duration 10.14 Read by Natasha

Jack and The Pirate School Part 2

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In the In first part of our exciting pirate serial, Jack was meant to go to sailing school, but there was a mix-up at the station and Jack ended up at Captain Blackheart’s Pirate School on board a Pirate Ship.

Although Jack is quite a small boy, he likes to be brave, but Captain Blackheart is so very scary that it’s difficult for him not to be just a little bit afraid.

So hang on to the rigging for the second part of Jack’s adventures.

Read by Natasha. Duration 8.39.

He was lying on the deck, and Captain Blackheart was leaning right over him. “Welcome to The Pirate School, young man,” he boomed. “I hope you like excitement young man, because from now on, you’re going to have plenty of it!”

“Excitement is just what I love most ,” said Jack, and then he felt a tiny bit frightened. “But I think I was meant to be at sailing school, not pirate school.”

“Sailing school?” roared Captain Blackheart.

And then roared with laughter.

“Did you hear that my hearties…”

He looked around the deck. And Jack looked around as well, and all across the deck, he could see about twenty pirates. And they were the worst, most desperate looking ruffians he had ever seen. They wore striped vests, and old shoes, and they had dirt all over their faces and hands.

And as soon as Captain Blackheart laughed, they all laughed as well.

“Sailing school, you say,” said Captain Blackheart. “Well we’ll teach you all you need to know right here, won’t we lads.”

And all the pirates laughed even louder.

“Our men can unfurl the rigging with one hand, cut a man down with their cutlass with the other, and fire a broadside of cannon right into the black, cruel hearts of the enemy with their big toe. Isn’t that better than any sailing school…”

“Yes, er, I suppose so,” said Jack.

“Because sailing school is for girls…”

“I wouldn’t want that,” said Jack. “I’d much rather learn how to be a pirate.”

“Then let’s begin, m’lad,” said Captain Blackheart. “And we’ll make a pirate of you before the day is done, that we will.”

And then he picked Jack up with both hands, and hurled him across the open deck of the ship. “Get your self kitted out…”

Jack went hurtling across the deck, then fell down the stairs, and went tumbling, tumbling, tumbling, until he was lying flat out on the deck of the downstairs deck.

“Ouch,” said Jack. “That hurts.”

A boy was standing right next to him. He looked about nine to Jack, and he was dressed in old rags, and his face was covered in dirt.

“Hurt, did it,” said the boy.

“It did a bit,” said Jack, climbing to his feet.

Just then, the boy clipped him around the head, and Jack fell over again.

“Ouch,” said Jack.

“I hope you’re not a sissy,” said the boy, reaching down to help Jack up. “Because we’ve no room for sissies, not on Captain Blackheart’s ship.”

“No, no,” said Jack. “I’m as tough..as tough as…well, the toughest thing you can think of.”

“That’s alright then.” The boy put out a hand. “My name’s Ben. I’m the cabin boy around here.”

He looked Jack up and down. “You can’t wear that stuff,” he said. “We’ll get you some proper clothes.”

And Ben walked across to a big chest. He pushed aside a snake that just happened to be sitting on top of it, and pushed it open. “Here, take your pick,” he said.

Inside the chest there was a collection of the dirtiest, oil-est, meanest looking rags you had ever seen. Jack pulled out an old battered pair of trousers, and a stripped vest, and pulled them on. Then he messed up his hair a bit, and spread some grime across his face.

It was just the sort of thing that made his mum really cross.

I’m going to enjoy being a pirate, he thought to himself.

There’s just one thing, he thought. I better tell mum and dad I’m not at the sailing school.

So he walked up onto the deck, until he saw Captain Blackheart.

He was standing at the wheel of the ship, with the parrot at his shoulder.

“Ah, Jack, me lad, you look like a regular ruffian,” said Captain Blackheart.

“Thanks, sir,” he said. “But I just wanted to tell my mum and dad I’m at pirate school, not sailing school.”

And suddenly Captain Blackheart looked very cross.

And the whole ship went silent, so that all Jack could hear was the rustling of the wind through the sails.

All the pirates were edging close to towards him, until Jack was completely surrounded.

“We don’t tell parents that anyone is at pirate school,” he said, in a voice so menacing it sent a shiver down Jack’s spine.

And then he roared with laughter.

And all the pirates laughed with him.

Even Ben was laughing.

“Because you’re a prisoner!” roared Captain Blackheart.

“A prisoner,” said Jack. “Oh….”

“Your not scared are you, Jack,” said Captain Blackheart.

“Me, scared,” said Jack, just a little nervously. “Nahhhhh….”

Jack and the Pirate School Part 1

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Have you got your cutlasses ready?

And fed the parrot?

Do you want to hear a story about pirates?

Pirates are all the rage, and we get loads of requests for stories about walking the plank, swinging in the rigging, and mayhem on the high seas. And so Bertie has come up with a series of stories about a boy called Jack who meant to go to sailing school, but ended up at pirate school instead.

This is part one…. The series is collected here.

Message from this story’s sponsor…

Kids love to dress up in authentic Pirate Costumes and imagine themselves sailing on the high seas. Pirates are also popular choices for kid’s Halloween Costumes. So Ahoy Mate, let’s take the parrot out for a quick costume shopping trip.

Read by Natasha.

Once upon a time, there was a boy called Jack.

He was seven. And Jack had six sisters, but no brothers.

And they were really, really girly.

All day long, they’d play with their dolls.

And with their beauty salon.

And twirl around in their pink ballet tutus.

Jack thought it was really, really boring.

“How about a game of pirates?” Jack used to say every morning, when they didn’t have to go to school.

And sometimes his sisters would agree.

But their idea of playing pirates was to sit all the rogues and ruffians and cut-throats around in a circle and serve cups of tea and slices of cake.

They didn’t want to make people walk the plank. Or hunt for buried treasure. Or anything.

And Jack just got fed up, and went to play pirates by himself.

Then one day, they were all sitting at lunch when Jack’s father asked him if he wanted to go to sailing school in the summer holidays.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” said Jack. “That sound GRRRRR-ate.”

And so it was agreed. In the summer holidays, Jack would go off to sailing school for a few days.

“Just one thing, Jack,” said his father. “Make sure you aren’t captured by any pirates.”

And all his sisters laughed.

“Because they might hold you to ransom for a million pounds,” said his father.

“Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that,” said Jack. “The rascals and ruffians could never capture me. I’d just fight them off.”

And he made a slashing motion with his hands, as if he was waving a cutlass through the air.

“See, like this,” said Jack. “Boom, bam, biff…”

And all his sisters rolled their eyes.

“That’s agreed then,” said his father.

Jack was so excited, he could hardly wait for the school term to end.

All day long, he would sit at his desk in school, dreaming of how he was going to be out in the ocean waves. And wondering if there really were any pirates out there.

Not that he’d mind if there were.

He wasn’t frightened of pirates.

Finally the big day arrived.

It was the start of the summer holidays.

Jack packed his bag very carefully. He had some clothes to wear, and some sandwiches to eat, plus some swimming trunks in case he fell into the water.

And a cutlass.

Because, after all, you never knew what kind of ruffians you were going to meet on the high seas.

Of course, it was only a toy, plastic cutlass.

But never mind, thought Jack. Maybe he could just scare then away by waving it around a bit.

He’d show them.

His mum put him on the train, and told him to be careful.

And as he watched the countryside go by, Jack couldn’t wait to see the ocean.

Finally, he could see the waves crashing against the shore, and soon afterwards the train pulled up to the station.

He climbed off the train and looked up and down the platform.

And then he saw a man standing with a sign, which said. “Boys who want a life on the ocean waves, please step this way.”

And so Jack walked towards him.

“Excuse me,” he said.

It was at that point that he noticed a funny looking parrot sitting on the man’s shoulder.

“Er, excuse me,” said Jack.

“Yes, what is it?” said the man.

“Is this the right place for the sailing school?”

The man paused.

“Ahhhhaaaaa,” squawked the parrot. “Sailing school……ahhhhhhaaaaaa.”

“Shaddup, you stupid bird,” growled the man.

Then he looked back at Jack.

“Sailing school, you could say that,” he said. “Step this way young man.”

And so Jack followed him towards the car, and they drove to the port. “Who’s a silly boy, then,” squawked the parrot, or at least he did until the man whacked him around the beak.

And then they climbed out of the car, and the man showed Jack the ship.

But it wasn’t what jack was expecting.

It was more of a galleon than a yacht.

With huge sails, and rigging, and a crow’s nest.

“I, er, I mean…” said Jack nervously.

But the man just pushed him up the stair, so hard that Jack went flying across the deck.

The next thing he knew, a very tall man was walking towards him. A man with a black cape, and a wooden leg.

He lent straight into Jack’s face.

“Welcome to pirate school, young man,” he boomed. “Where’ll we’ll teach you everything you need to know for a life of mayhem and treachery on the high seas. I hope you like excitement young man, because from now on, you’re going to have plenty of it”.

“Excitement is just what I like best !” said Jack. And then he felt just a tiny bit nervous.